- What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone appetit!
- What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
"Don't spook until you're spooken to."
- What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley?
I'm bone to be wild.
- What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?
Boo-ties
- What do ghosts put on top of an ice cream sundae?
Whipped scream.
- What do ghosts serve for dessert?
I Scream.
- What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray.
- What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
Hoblin Goblin.
- What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and deady.
- What do you call a monster with no neck?
The Lost Neck Monster.
- What do you call a roomful of ghosts?
A bunch of boo-boos.
- What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand witch.
- What do you call dead cows that come back to life?
Zombeef.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
- What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
- What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its radius?
Pumpkin pi.
- What do you give a skeleton for Valentine's Day?
Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.
- What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
- What game do ghost like to play?
Peek-a-Boo.
- What goes "Ha-ha-ha . . . THUD!"
A monster laughing his head off
- What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
He is mist.
- What happens when a ghost haunts a theater?
The actors get stage fright.
- What instrument do skeletons play?
Trom-BONE.
- What is a ghost's favorite desert?
Iced Screams.
- What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
Spelling.
- What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?
Mas-scare-a.
- What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Boo boos.
- What's a ghoul's favorite game?
Hide-And-Go-Shriek!
- What's a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist.
- What's Dracula's favorite flavor of ice cream?
Vein-illa.
- What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck.
- Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers.
- Where do ghosts mail their letters?
At the ghost office
- Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
Because of his coffin.
- Why did the ghost go into the bar?
For the boos.
- Why did the vampire give his girlfriend a blood test?
To see if she was his type.
- Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He had no guts.
- Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
He had no body to dance with.
- Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
- Why do mummies make excellent spies?
They're good at keeping things under wraps.
- Why do witches fly on brooms?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
- Why doesn't anybody like Dracula?
He has a bat temper.
- Why don't mummies take vacations?
They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.
- Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
They're afraid of flying off the handle!
- Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
Because everyone was a goblin!
- What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A dead end.
- What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost?
Fasten your sheet belt.
- Who does a ghoul fall in love with?
His ghoul friend.
- What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
A blood hound.
- How can you tell when windows are scared?
They get shudders.
